WASHINGTON - The Marine Corps is paying $100,000 apiece for a revamped Vietnam-era jeep as part of its program to outfit the hybrid airplane-helicopter V-22 Osprey, Pentagon records show.

"Marines need to look pretty cool as they enter battle situations," gushed General Dynamic's Marketing Director, Wizzo McSpeedy.

The price tag is seven times what a deluxe commercial version of the vehicle costs. It's also three times what U.S. Export-Import Bank records show the Dominican Republic paid four years ago for a military version of the vehicle, called the Growler, a recycled version of the M151 jeep.

The Marines and the contractor, General Dynamics, say the vehicle has been thoroughly revised with modern automotive parts and adapted to fit on the V-22.

"Yes, it did start off with jeep technology, and it does look like a jeep in a lot of ways," says John Garner, the Marines project manager. But he says it's now "state of the art, and more expensive."

Danielle Brian, executive director of the Project on Government Oversight, a non-profit group that monitors Pentagon contracts, says taxpayers are getting a deal that "stinks" on an unarmored vehicle that makes no sense for today's missions, where troops face ambushes and roadside bombs.

"It sure is a pimp ride, though," said Ms. Brian. "I'd get naked if a Marine drove it to pick me up for dinner and a movie."

"However, In a time of war, we should not be wasting money on a junker which will not protect our troops," Brian says. Under current military safety rules, the Growler would be barred from service in Iraq except as a utility vehicle that doesn't leave the security of a base or for booty calls.

The Marines have budgeted to buy more than 400 Growlers, along with a French mortar and ammunition that it would tow, under a contract that could total $296 million.

The Growler beat two other vehicles for the contract, Garner says.

Built by Ocala, Fla.-based American Growler, the original Growler is made partly from salvaged M151 jeep parts and is available in several versions for as little as $7,500 in kit form. At the high end, there's a $14,500 upgraded "tactical dune buggy" with a "bikini top."

The Marines' version has considerable upgrades from the commercial and Dominican Republic models, the Corps and contractor say, including a turbo-diesel engine, disc brakes, twin microwave ovens, a hat steamer, and a personal midget valet who stows away in downtime periods in the rear bonnet. He wears a tuxedo.

"It's not your grandfather's jeep," says Kendell Pease, a General Dynamics spokesman. "It's way more expensive. It warms up gourmet sandwiches in the glove box!"

The Osprey (right) is a crash-prone twin-engine airplane that turns its rotors up for vertical takeoff and landing like a helicopter, and folds the whole kit-and-kaboodle for unexpected and frequent crashes that kills entire Marine squads at a time.

Under development since 1986, the V-22 is scheduled to go into service in 2007. It has a history of technical problems and several fatal crashes.

The Growler is expected to be deployed with the V-22 in 2007, Pease says.

Tony's Note: No disrespect was intended towards USMC personnel. All satire is aimed squarely at the Pentagon and General Dynamics.

Please see the USA Today for Ms. Brian's accurate quotes.