Two old friends were just about to tee off
at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy
carrying a golf bag called out to them.
"Do you mind if I join you? My partner
didn't turn up."
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome with
us."
So they started playing and enjoyed the
game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the
course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do
you do for a living?"
"I'm a professional hit man," was the
reply.
"You're joking!" was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into
his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful McMillan sniper
rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."
"That's
a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can
I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house
from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through
the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see
my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see
right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the
bedroom. Ha ha, I can see she's naked! What's that? Wait a
minute, that's my neighbor in there with her... He's naked
as well! That bitch!" He turned to the hit man, "How much
do you charge for a hit?"
"I do a flat rate. For you, one thousand
dollars every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife, she's always been
mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's
a friend of mine, but he's an asshole, so just shoot his
dick off to teach him a lesson."
The hit man dropped his 7-iron and
picked up the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still
for a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said
the friend impatiently.
"Just wait a moment, be patient," said
the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand
here..." |