INDEX

Home

Weapons

Photo Galleries

News

Video

Contact Me

Humor Pages

 

 

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
George Bush's Answer:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

Al Gore's Answer:
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

Bill Gates' Answer:
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

Martha Stewart's Answer:
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

Ernest Hemingway's Answer:
To die. In the rain. Alone.

Martin Luther King Jr's Answer:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Barbara Walters' Answer:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

Ralph Nader's Answer:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

Jerry Falwell's Answer:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

John Lennon's Answer:
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

Saddam Hussein's Answer:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Bill Clinton's Answer:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

Albert Einstein's Answer:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Sigmund Freud's Answer:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Richard Nixon's Answer:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

Joseph Stalin's Answer:
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelet.

Louis Farrakhan's Answer:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

Colonel Sanders' Answer:
I missed one?

 

Special thanks to Lorna for sending me this gem...

Back to Main Humor Page

TonyRogers.com Navigation Links

Home | Weapons | Photo Galleries | News | New Stuff | Contact Me