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Tony Saves
And Dissects An 8-Year-Old Apple Pie
July 2, 2004 |
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When I started working at AMSOIL on
Monday, January 13, 1997, I was excited, to say the
least. On Wednesday, January 15, 1997, I stopped at
a gas station before work and bought two Dolly Madison
Apple Pies to bring to work. I sure enjoyed the first
one, but I left the second one in my desk drawer and
discovered it several weeks later. On contemplating
whether it was still edible, I noticed that one of the
primary ingredients was Propylene Glycol. This is the
primary chemical used in AMSOIL Coolant/Anti-Freeze,
so a lightbulb went off, and I wrote the company a letter
out of sheer amusement. They responded, and then I sent
them another letter a couple weeks later. They never
wrote back. They probably worried that further correspondence
would lead to evidence in a trial.
Now featured in New Scientist Magazine! (1.38MB PDF)
(See the letters
below the photos...)
After that damn pie sat in my desk drawer
for seven years and 6 months, I finally decided to dissect
the Apple Pie and document it, along with a fresh Apple
Pie from the grocery store bought today. And here are
the results!
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| One of these pies, is not like
the other. One of these pies, is very old... |
When unwrapped, the nearly 8-year-old
pie on the left is visibly dessicated and lacks
what Realtors call "curb appeal," to say
the least. |
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| The cutting open of the pies was
revealing: The old pie was pretty dry. But still
gooey inside. |
One half of the old pie's filling
shrunk, leaving a gaping hole inside the crust. |
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| The color difference between old
and new was pronounced. Amazingly, they both passed
the "sniff test" and smelled exactly the
same. |
If I survived a plane crash in
the northern Canadian Bush, and found the old pie,
I would eat it. It doesn't look wonderful, but it
is totally edible. |
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I sent the first letter
with some carefully-crafted bad grammar to make
it believable and see if I could get a corporate
response. Indeed it worked. I'll bet my letter
went through the entire corporate office and was
copied and posted on a wall of shame somewhere...
The First
Letter
February 21, 1997
Interstate Brands Corporation
General Office
Kansas City, MO 64111
Dear Customer Service Person:
I am a huge fan of your Dolly
Madison Bakery Apple Artificially Flavored Real
Fruit Pies (I prefer the Apple model), and I wanted
to express my delight of them with you. The first
time I ate one, I was hooked. I buy your pies
all the time, usually evry day. At first I would
buy just a cupple at a time, but I soon was buying
quite a few every day.
Right now I am eating two before
work, one for a mid-morning snak, and three for
lunch. And I always have a cupple after dinner
every day, for sure!
Yesterday at lunch, I noticed
that one of the ingredents in the Apple Pie model
was Propylene Glycol. I actully use antifreeze
in my truck that is Propylene Glycol. I was wondring
if it is safe to eat, as much of the pies that
I have been eating lately. Is it bad for you?
My friends at work are betting
me on how many Dolly Madison Bakery Apple Artificially
Flavored Real Fruit Pies I can eat at work each
day, and I am curently up too 9. Jeez, they are
good.
Please let me know about the Propylene
Glycol, and wether it is bad or not in this amount.
Otherwise, I'll keep going for eating more evry
day to break records.
Sincerely,
Tony Rogers
Duluth, MN 55804
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| Interstate
Brands Corporation Responds, two weeks later... |
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March 7, 1997
Interstate Brands Corporation
Customer Service Department
Kathy Adams
Dear Mr. Rogers:
We are thrilled that you like
our Apple Pies so much. But we are concerned about
the sheer number of them that you are consuming
on a daily basis. The best advice I can give is
to look to the government's Recommended Daily
Allowance (RDA) of nutrition and make sure that
you are receiving proper nutrition levels. If
you look at those guidance figures, you will see
that our apple pies are giving you entirely too
much in sugar and fat if you are eating that many
every day. They are actually meant to be a dessert
product, and eaten after you have a complete,
nutritious meal. I would not advise eating that
many of our pies on any given day, and I would
certainly not encourage you to "go for a
record" of daily consumption of them, for
a host of reasons related to your health.
Please continue to enjoy our apple
pies, but do so in a moderate fashion.
Sincerely,
Kathy Adams
Interstate Brands Customer Service Representative
P.S. I included two coupons for
free pies
(She
really did, too. I never did redeem them)
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Letter
to Kathy At Interstate Brands Corporation, One Month
Later
(At the prodding of my boss, Kevin) |
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March 7, 1997
Interstate Brands Corporation
General Office
Kansas City, MO 64111
Dear Kathy:
Well, I broke all records! I ate
12 Dolly Madison Bakery Apple Artificially Flavored
Real Fruit Pies at lunch yesterday, on a bet.
I have actully eatin 18 in one day, but I sufered
for that one later.
Thanks so much for the two free
coopons! I used them the first day I got them.
My friend said I might try a diffrent fruit model,
so I tried cherry and it sucked and I through
up in the truck.
My boss found out about my "pie
eating record" days and he noticed that I
was always looking sick and throughing up and
he said I can't eat that many pies when I work.
But I still still sneek a few here and their,
so you'll be happy.
Thanks again Kathy!
Tony
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