Abu al-Zarqawi died (watch the video!) and George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"

Patrick Henry approached, punched him straight in the face and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!"

James Madison followed with a back-hand, kicked him in the nuts and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"

Thomas Jefferson was next, and he proceeded to beat al-Zarqawi with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil shit like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence, dammit!"

The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe, John Hancock and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist head honcho.

As al-Zarqawi lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Al- Zarqawi wept and said, "This is not what you promised me, Allah! I was promised bliss in Heaven with 72 virgins!"

The Angel replied, "When I told you guys about 'Allah', I said specifically that there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"

 

Just In case anyone is offended by this joke, remember that al-Zarqawi was the asshole who brutally beheaded American civilian Nicholas Berg in Iraq. Nicholas Evan Berg (April 2, 1978 – May 7, 2004) was an American businessman seeking telecommunications work in Iraq after the US invasion of Iraq.